This week has been awful - I'm sure I'm being overly dramatic but I seriously was doubting my abilities as a scientist. The reasons being that it was thought I may have contaminated my samples (the jury is still out on this decision) and that my thesis would then be written about how I stuffed up my project. Rather than be a Master of Infectious Diseases, I would be a Master of Stuffing Up.
I think what made this week worse was that I didn't have someone there who has been through this whole process, who understands how much this means to me and how hard (and how many hours) I've been working to get everything done before today (as I am in Canberra for two weeks). I miss having that person who has been through it from the start, who can encourage me or tell me I'm being silly. Someone who cares.
Sure, my Mum and Kara and Nette and lots of people care and have been amazing to me, and I am not underestimating how much I love all my friends (except maybe those who shove me into bushes). But it's not the same,
I wish I could tell this person how much I miss them. How hearing them laugh stabs me in the heart. How whenever something happens that I want to text them and know that they will have read it, even if they don't reply.
I know that one day this will subside, and maybe I might even find a new best friend, someone who gets my awful humour and doesn't mind me talking about infectious diseases all the time and might even be interested in moving to a foreign country to help those less fortunate. But until then, I sit and say nothing and pray that they're not as heart broken as me.
I think what made this week worse was that I didn't have someone there who has been through this whole process, who understands how much this means to me and how hard (and how many hours) I've been working to get everything done before today (as I am in Canberra for two weeks). I miss having that person who has been through it from the start, who can encourage me or tell me I'm being silly. Someone who cares.
Sure, my Mum and Kara and Nette and lots of people care and have been amazing to me, and I am not underestimating how much I love all my friends (except maybe those who shove me into bushes). But it's not the same,
I wish I could tell this person how much I miss them. How hearing them laugh stabs me in the heart. How whenever something happens that I want to text them and know that they will have read it, even if they don't reply.
I know that one day this will subside, and maybe I might even find a new best friend, someone who gets my awful humour and doesn't mind me talking about infectious diseases all the time and might even be interested in moving to a foreign country to help those less fortunate. But until then, I sit and say nothing and pray that they're not as heart broken as me.
I like to say we all bounce back from this but bounce isn't the right word. Everyone says time heals all wounds, but I don't think it ever fully heals. Sorry. Life has made me quite the cynic. I wish I could be there to hug you and say cliches but I don't think cliches are going to help. Nor am I going to tell you to suck it up because you probably have people to tell you that. Hang in there. God knows and He hears too. =)
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