impressive

That was the word used by one of my supervisors as his first impression of my evaluation report on the Healthcare Infection Surveillance of Western Australia (HISWA). One of my chapters for my thesis is now done (woot!) and will just need a lot of editing.

Did you know that when you attend a healthcare facility here in WA, you are covered by this mandatory surveillance system which monitors the number and trends of healthcare-associated infections? Did you also know that WA has mandatory screening for MRSA if you have attended a healthcare facility in another state/country in the 12 months prior to your visit?

Whilst there's a lot to be said about the administration and financial capabilities of our healthcare system, I truly believe that we are in a lucky country. Not only do we have (mostly) affordable healthcare, but the majority of the country has access to it 24/7, and the risks associated with attending a healthcare facility and obtaining an infection from the treatment received are very low.

I'm not making any statements about politics and healthcare, so don't read it as that. What I am saying is that we have a high standard of quality in healthcare, not only with nurses and doctors, but with infection prevention and control, laboratory capabilities, allied heath professionals etc.

Now that my HISWA section is over, I move to writing about Clostridium difficile in aged care facilities. I think it'll be rather shitty...

getting anything written

I thought maybe I should just write anything, as I've sat here for the past two hours and I haven't actually written anything in my thesis - plenty of cut-and-paste and re-reading and shifting information from one section to another, but no new information has come out of my brain and onto my electronic page...

What I'm stuck with is my discussion section for my evaluation project - I'm looking at the healthcare-associated infection system in WA and making sure it's working well to prevent infections. But the cursor is flashing and I can't think of where to start. I have plenty of information to put in there - I have three pages worth of it in a separate document. AGRHGAHGHRGHGR

I think I shall take a break from that project and work on one of my other four. 

In other news, my pumpkin plants are flowering! Hooray! And it is now nice and chilly in Perth, so hot drinks are in order - the best thing about working from home is having so many choices of tea and coffee and hot chocolate and milo all available to me, rather then just international roast instant coffee... And I can wear whatever I want and not shower and have blankets wrapped around me and have my comfy purple dinosaur and the house is quiet all to myself. I like writing from home. 

this is a terribly honest and vulnerable blog post

I've been rather quiet of lately, and that's due to two reasons:

1) nothing overly exciting has occurred in which I needed to expand upon any more than a facebook status could tell you

and/or

2) I genuinely haven't felt like it

Mostly number 2.

As you are aware, I'm in the middle of completing my second Masters degree, this one being in Epidemiology, and it is tough. My thesis is due in about 190 days (I've added a counter to the right hand side, how handy!) and all of my projects are still nowhere near being finished, and I cannot see the end of it. I feel all consumed and overcome, that I have nothing else in my life and that all I amount to is some 50,000 words in a book.

I know I'm not the only one out there who has felt despondent about their thesis; I know plenty have gone before me. I just hate crying about it every single day. I hate this massive weight on my chest every time I talk about it. I hate feeling like I am going to fail everyone, that I won't live up to expectations. I know you all think I'm amazing and smart and can't believe I've done two Masters degrees, but inside I don't feel like that's anything more than what has to be done and so what? It's just a university degree; it's what I need to do in order to get where I want.

So, as you can read, I'm not exactly in a good place. I need you - my friends and my family - to keep me sane these next few months.

I ask when you talk to me me, can you ask me about my life other than my thesis? If I start to talk about my thesis/uni/supervisors, then don't try and get me to see the positives of it, just let me talk (which will most likely involve crying).

Try and remind me that I am more than just my thesis, that I have a life.