all the things I can't say

Sometimes the events of life are outside of your control.

Getting fired at work, loosing loved ones, illness, car crashes, break ups... 

Sometimes it's in these times when the person you would turn to is the person who inflicted this pain. 

So you learn to live without them, to tell other people your exciting news, find people to go to the movies with, try new things and meet new people, and eventually you realise you've learnt to be strong on your own and you're happy once again. 

It doesn't mean that those feelings no longer exist, it's just that they're not at the forefront of your heart. 

Sometimes they come back, and all those feelings come rushing back and you have no idea where you stand. 

There's a fine line between love and hate, says my very wise Mother. 

I hate the way you make me feel

I hate that I let you

I hate the way you stand there and laugh

I hate that you are near

I hate it when I don't see you

I hate it when you don't say hi

I hate it when you talk to me

I hate it because I cry

I hate it that you still care

I hate it, it's not fair.